The Sixers are rightfully losing plenty of games, but this tank job doesn’t have anywhere near the gleeful joy of the original Process.
Let me get this out of the way first: the Philadelphia 76ers should absolutely tank the rest of the season. Joel Embiid’s body has failed him again, Tyrese Maxey’s finger is not conducive to dribbling or shooting a basketball, and Paul George was injecting painkillers into his lower body just to get up and down the court. In regard to Maxey and George, it’s absolute insanity that the team continues to consider allowing them back on the floor again at less than 100 percent health.
Still, I’m finding no joy in Tanking 2.0. For the folks waking up and giving the Tankathon odds a spin every morning and excitedly fist-bumping when the Toronto Raptors or Brooklyn Nets secure another win, I’m glad you’re able to find some small measure of happiness in this miserable season. For me, though, it’s all just utterly depressing.
I enjoyed the Process. The whole experience felt countercultural. Sam Hinkie had a plan, gamifying the system within the extreme confines of league rules to finally lift the franchise out of the Treadmill of Mediocrity. Process Trusters enjoyed the heck out of it, giving a huge middle finger to the NBA establishment.
We went through that experience for multiple seasons — not 8-to-10 years like hack national talking heads would erroneously have you believe, but still, years. Now we’re only talking about tanking for a few months, but it feels so much more exhausting. I’ve given some thought as to why that’s the case.
For one thing, to borrow Morgan Freeman’s famous narration, I already crawled through a river of s**t and came out clean on the other side. I’m supposed to be enjoying the beach in Mexico with my pal Red, but instead, you want me to get dirty and go back to where I started? I don’t think I have it in me. Based on expectations, the Sixers are at least supposed to be where the New York Knicks are with us debating whether they can finally get out of the second round. Instead, it has been the absolute season from hell. That’s so much different than following through on a calculated and pre-coordinated plan to lose games.
Another big factor is this could all be for nothing, and not in the ‘Philadelphia might only get the third overall pick and draft a bust like Jahlil Okafor’ sense of the word, but literally nothing. Let’s assume the best-case scenario for the Sixers — they lose their last 19 games of the season, the Raptors and Nets win a few, and Philadelphia ends up with the fifth-worst record in the league. There would still be a 36.1 percent chance the Sixers have to send their first-round pick to Oklahoma City. That’s around the same odds as Justin Edwards hitting a three-pointer, and we’ve been talking all season about how encouraging his outside shooting has been.
Again, logically, this is the best path forward for the Sixers, but can you imagine how much it will hurt having rooted for losses for this last quarter of the season and still losing the draft pick? I can’t get my hopes up, if only to guard myself as best I can against that potential gut punch.
Finally, to borrow another famous movie quote courtesy of Danny Glover, maybe I’m just too old for this s**t. I have two kids now, my sleep cycle is in shambles, and a lot of times I’d just like to have an even coin flip’s chance at watching a win when I settle down on a Monday night. I imagine a lot of people felt similarly back when the team traded away the likes of Evan Turner and Spencer Hawes.
If there’s any silver lining, this will all be over in a little over a month. Next year’s team will at least have the bones of a competitive roster. We don’t know what the future holds for Paul George in Philadelphia or Joel Embiid in basketball period, but a backcourt of Tyrese Maxey, Jared McCain, and (hopefully) Quentin Grimes is at least a solid foundation for the team. It’s probably not a title contender, but I’ll have fun watching that group next season. But for now, I’m not having fun rooting for the Sixers to lose or other teams to win. I wish you Tankathon fiends all the best, but while I’ve cast my ballot for the tank, my heart can’t climb aboard.