Is the solution to a Sixers bounce back hiding in bald site?

Nick Sirianni buzzed his head and the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Bryce Harper did it and is now on fire for the first-place Phillies. Your turn, Sixers.

So even after securing the third overall pick in the 2025 NBA draft, the Sixers long-term outlook is pretty shaky.

Regardless of whether Paul George is able to bounce back from a disappointing first season, the health status of Joel Embiid will be the most important factor to the team’s success. Tied down to the big fella through 2029, the franchise is in a lot of trouble if his oft-injured left knee doesn’t get better.

The team has done everything it can to find a solution. Embiid just recently underwent another surgery in hopes of a fix. What if there was a different answer though? One that transcends the sport itself. A city-wide phenomena hiding in plain, bald site.

Anyone who follows the other teams in this town will fondly remember a turning point in this past Eagles season that eventually led to a Super Bowl win. After an uneasy 2-2 start that saw his name on the hot seat, head coach Nick Sirianni decided he needed to switch up the vibes coming out of the bye week.

He unveiled a fresh, clean shaven look on the sidelines as the Eagles came out of the bye with a win over the Cleveland Browns. After facing some more scrutiny postgame, Sirianni decided to flex his new persona on the practice field with 50 Cent’s “Many Men” playing in the background.

The Eagles took this momentum and ran with it, only losing one more game the rest of the season, completing their championship run in what can only be described as a belt-to-ass tour. It didn’t take long for Sirianni to have a copycat in the city.

After a solid start to his 2025 season, Phillies’ first basemen Bryce Harper went into a bit of a slump. He had a 19-game stretch where he batted .189 with a .615 OPS. A classic tinkerer himself, Harper also went to the clippers in hopes to shake things up.

He’s even brought that OPS up to 1.179 with a couple games against the lowly Colorado Rockies. The Phillies have jumped up to take the best record in the National League in the time since.

So there are two examples of shaved heads in this city resulting in immediate success for their team and no samples of this going wrong. Some have already reached this conclusion, but it’s clear what the Sixers have to do to turn things around.

That’s right. Several, if not all the Sixers need to shave their heads coming into the start of next season. Forget degenerative knee injuries. Forget aging stars who can’t get to the basket as they once easily could. Forget the two young pieces being guards who may be too small to play next to each other. The answer is clearly in the lettuce, or in the lack thereof.

It’s unclear how long this hair-less magic will last, so the Sixers have to take advantage as soon as possible. Perhaps they get the clippers ready for Adam Silver for whoever they take with the No. 3 pick. If Daryl Morey exhausts every option like he says he does, this is something he at least has to look into.